Keeping Passion in Marriage
"You don't love me like you used to." Have you or your spouse said these words? If you never have then get ready for a shocking revelation... you will! This is as normal a part of growing in marriage as the honeymoon. The passion and excitement of marriage you once felt may wax a little stale and you can find your marriage in a rut! It happens to every couple and you have nothing to worry about. In fact the strong marriages in this world go through this stage often. It is easy to slip into and hard to get out of. Keeping passion alive in marriage takes work. Remember when you first got married? What did you do together? I left love notes for my wife all the time. She did the same for me. As time goes on we get comfortable in our marriage and begin to forget that these things we once did are not being done any longer. Let's look at a few reasons passion may die in marriage:
Let me talk about the last one for a moment. When you got married what did you think your life would be like? Has it turned out that you were right? I am willing to bet the answer is no. Life seldom turns out as we planed and our fantasy world crumbles in around us. This will do horrific things to your passion. Suddenly you see things in a more bleak picture. Maybe your spouse isn't the sexy bombshell you thought they would be. Maybe your not living in the home you wanted. Nothing looks good to you right now. Passion for a lot of people comes from fantasy. Women imagine their husband as prince charming and he imagines her as the lusty queen of sex. When time goes by they find out he is more like the town fool and she is the ugly step sister. Let Your Fantasy GoAll of our kingdoms are built on sand and our beauty fades with the grass. Basing our passion on these things will result in a marriage with a lack of excitement. It is time to think about what we do have. What are the qualities of each other you love? Focus on the good qualities! Don't try to turn your spouse into your fantasy. Make your fantasy your spouse! The more you think about the good quality of your spouse the more you will desire them. Let go of what you thought you wanted and learn that God gave you something better. Autopilot PassionAutopilot takes you out of the picture. Your not flying the plane. Passion in marriage is not something that just happens. You have to work at it. Doing the things you once did is a great place to begin. Remember that when you were dating you thought of all kinds of ways to please your girlfriend. Put that thinking cap back on! Life is easier to go through without thinking for sure. It doesn't make for a passionate marriage though. Passion in SexEven if sex is not everything it is a huge part of passion in marriage! Trying something new is great advice. Push your comfort zones and try something you always wanted to. Just remember to keep within the laws of God. Everything else is fair game! Sit down together and talk about what turns you on. It may not always be a touch. It may be an act of service like washing the dishes. Don't believe me? When your spouse doesn't have to deal with the nasty dish water they are more likely to be in a place that they can be stimulated. Remove all distractions. Send the kids away and make this your night of passion. Pleasure your partner the way they want. You may find out that being your wife's slave boy today and cleaning the house may make for a very thankful slave girl tomorrow when it is your turn to be pleased. That is right... for men it is always about sex. For women it is about everything else. So your first night of passion may not even lead to sex but it will make your wife feel ready for it later. |
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